Ode to a Pothole

It was a hungover Sunday
But at least the sun was out
After some bacon I felt better
It was time to leave the house.

With Connor at work
There was not much to do
Might have worked at the cars
But couldn’t be bothered to!

Connor’s dad said
We need to move a boat
Why don’t you come help
And stop the traffic on the road.

Five of us went
In the jeep and a car
Arrived at the boat
In the corner of the yard.

Half full of water
The boat weighed a ton
So trying to move it
Wasn’t much fun.

Only one mishap
When she slipped off the jack
But brute force and a crowbar
Soon sorted that.

Two flat tyres and bad bearings
The trailer wasn’t in great shape
And with a bow in the middle
We hoped she wouldn’t break.

It was all going well
We got out through the gate
If we could go nice and slow
And keep going straight.

But as you’ll all know
One should never speak too soon
It was going to be
A long afternoon.

As we drove to the shed
Our luck started to turn
Yellow DOE spray paint
Was our first cause for concern.

Huge and sharp sided
It loomed into view
The road was so narrow
There was naught we could do.

The mother of potholes
An almighty crash
The tyre was shredded
With a hiss and a splash.

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With the tyre hanging off
Our pace further slowed
Then the engine cover fell off
And flew down the road.

We managed to limp on
The workshop was near
But with only one tyre
It was quite hard to steer.

After several attempts
We got through the gate
Made a mess of the grass
And still couldnt go straight.

Half way up the hill
The trailer stuck on a pole
And again we cursed
That fiendish pothole.

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We decided the best move
Was to change the bad wheel
When we wrestled it off
We found a big dent in the steel.

A yard full of wheels
Everyone hunted
But with us being dubbers
They’re all 4 x 100.

We stopped for a coffee
To think of a plan
Til Eugene came up with
Something he did once in ‘Nam.

Old car owners will know
‘specially those with mk3’s
That you always keep a stash
Of waste oil and grease.

To unstick the wheel
We had to jimmy it over
All we needed was a plank
And a good strong shoulder.

We greased up a board
Put it under the other side
Though that tyre was flat too
We hoped it would slide.

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As I watched from a ways back
I couldn’t ignore
The irony of the party
And Rock The Boat the night before.

Some heaving and shoving
Shouting from Connor’s dad
One final effort
Put your back into it lads!

At last, success!
The trailer was free
After a bit more manuvering
It was time for our tea.

As usual with us
A simple task was a faff
But also, as always
We had a good laugh.

It wasn’t the best day
For a hungover head
Maybe this Sunday
I’ll just stay in bed.

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Lee

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